Waking up from an ecstatic sleep, feeling
so energetic and bright and only wishing this
emotion would last forever. But weeks drag on and on,
soon and I’m dreading life and hoplessly empty inside.
This illness loves to stop me dead in my tracks. But I
lick my wounds and press on. Back from the dead,
but not to life. The vicious cycle continues spinning,
and I cant let it hold me down.
There is no logic to this madness.
It shows its callous face so unexpectedly.
When my guard is to the ground.
When my is down, it blindsides me and kills me
over and over. I shrivel up and die.
Paranoia spirals down with every shot of this glass.
Worming its way into my subconcious thoughts,
and slowly eats at my foundation. The hallucinations
are louder and the shadowed figures now so blatant and clear.
I take the devastating strikes from the heavy blows of this inner war.
This chaotic disaster that lurks beneath. I remain a casualty
of this cycling disease.
So stuff this moodswing happiness it isnt real.
After awhile the silver linings always start to peel.
The bleak shadows come rolling in and they follow me,
they kill my dreams, they hover me, and they’ll die with me.
But I will look on the brightside, because in a week I’ll see
the same euphoric bright light at the end of the tunnel again.
The vicious cycle will just roll on.
What is the cause?
What is the cure? Is this a curse?
Where are all the exits?
How can this be? I cannot let these cycles break me.