By Alan

My mind screams NO
All to no avail
My nails screech as they try to hang on
I’m falling fast
I try hard to stop
Black Cloud coming
The shaking inside begins anew
I try to keep a brave face
But feel useless against such darkness
Life is fragile
I live for others
Black Cloud coming

Why fight there is no reality
Tears want to come but relent
My heart is heavy
My world is losing me
Release me from my pain
Black Cloud coming

Talk to me please help
But it is I who can help
Helpless is what I feel
Worthless as I do not want to be productive
My guilt and shame continue to carry
Black Cloud coming

I feel I have betrayed my forebears
I can not shake this feeling
Trying hard, images flash
He holds my hand
Go away and let me be
Black Cloud coming

I wrestle my heavy mind
But submission is mine
Overwhelmed, anxious, fear
My friends forever
Wake up never
Black Cloud coming

Loser I hear them say
Yes maybe, it is of no matter
I always lose when he is there
Over and over I believe I will win
But defeatist I am
Black Cloud coming

I wake and my stomach cramps
I don’t want to get out of bed
I must it is the right thing
Struggle on my silly little soldier
You will not win
Black Cloud coming

I wish I could shed a tear
For me to cry would release my terror
My guilt is great
Is it for real or am I just crazy
Let me go now my friend
Black Cloud coming

The pain is agony as I lay on the floor
Pick yourself up where did you go
The darkness I see is hell I’m sure
The fear I feel is life itself
Take me away I can see no more
Black Cloud coming